There are approximately 7.6 billion people on this earth. The average person encounters roughly 25 people on any given day from an actual word spoken to a shrug to a passerby. And I think of all the people I have offended in my lifetime. I thought I have been a good person... I ask how you are. I listen. I care. I think of others. But I am completely impatient. I like to move fast. I drive angrily. I’m sure I have made you mad when I’ve driven up behind you. I am short tempered with those closest to me. I am frustrated with how slow sometimes my family moves. I can be so harsh. I don’t necessarily comfort when you are crying. I don’t always say the nicest of things. I can be super thinly fused. Basically, I am human.
But considering the amount of people we interact with it’s no wonder that moods can shift so quickly when those interactions are negatively impacted. Often when we reflect nostalgia can sway your memories and I think to the scene in Inside Out where Joy is recalling a memory that was so sweet about the team cheering on Riley and then you see Sadness recalling the minutes before when Riley was in the tree crying. Joy did not remember. But seeing the two emotions merging together to form the good made the moment so heartfelt even if it was laced with sad.
Remembering the hard can soften our edges. Remind us to slow down. Reflect. We lost someone this week and as I pondered my memories I was often only seeing the funny moments without the hint of frustration that laid side-by-side. When we shared our stories only then did I remember how hard those moments were. How I could have chosen to be better. Not as easily offended. Not taking it personally. But, I did and sometimes so much that it embittered me within that relationship. As time passed and we saw less and less I did nothing to make better, I just allowed it progress on and be what it was.
See, while this post isn’t so much about Marley, it is vastly about how much she’s changed me fundamentally. There were times when I was vehemently unhappy with her care, but my baby laid in the hands of people I didn’t know and no control over their actions. So I encouraged. I suppressed my frustration and truly spoke the words that I hoped God would give me to believe. “HE’s got her and she is HIS”.
I didn’t get to say my goodbyes to our passer, but I did release both the saddest of times loaded with streaks of joy only found when you realize that you won’t get them back and you can only cling to the hope that maybe just maybe they felt joy then too.
Today as I drive and the person behind is driving too fast and right up on me, I am not mad. I do not intentionally drive slower. I get over because I can see it behind their wheel that my insignificant life is slowing them today. And today is all about them. I get it- they need this. And to everyone I’ve ever offended in this very long lived 13,898 days of my life, I’m sorry.
But considering the amount of people we interact with it’s no wonder that moods can shift so quickly when those interactions are negatively impacted. Often when we reflect nostalgia can sway your memories and I think to the scene in Inside Out where Joy is recalling a memory that was so sweet about the team cheering on Riley and then you see Sadness recalling the minutes before when Riley was in the tree crying. Joy did not remember. But seeing the two emotions merging together to form the good made the moment so heartfelt even if it was laced with sad.
Remembering the hard can soften our edges. Remind us to slow down. Reflect. We lost someone this week and as I pondered my memories I was often only seeing the funny moments without the hint of frustration that laid side-by-side. When we shared our stories only then did I remember how hard those moments were. How I could have chosen to be better. Not as easily offended. Not taking it personally. But, I did and sometimes so much that it embittered me within that relationship. As time passed and we saw less and less I did nothing to make better, I just allowed it progress on and be what it was.
See, while this post isn’t so much about Marley, it is vastly about how much she’s changed me fundamentally. There were times when I was vehemently unhappy with her care, but my baby laid in the hands of people I didn’t know and no control over their actions. So I encouraged. I suppressed my frustration and truly spoke the words that I hoped God would give me to believe. “HE’s got her and she is HIS”.
I didn’t get to say my goodbyes to our passer, but I did release both the saddest of times loaded with streaks of joy only found when you realize that you won’t get them back and you can only cling to the hope that maybe just maybe they felt joy then too.
Today as I drive and the person behind is driving too fast and right up on me, I am not mad. I do not intentionally drive slower. I get over because I can see it behind their wheel that my insignificant life is slowing them today. And today is all about them. I get it- they need this. And to everyone I’ve ever offended in this very long lived 13,898 days of my life, I’m sorry.
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