October 31, 2017
It’s been a few days since Marley got her wound vac off and she feels dramatically lighter. We are laying here nursing while I write. We’ve had two bandage changes at home. I almost fainted at the first one. The second one was better. Her hand looks different. Her arm is smaller in muscle and tissue and lacks the softness. But the healing is good. I feel a protection deep inside of me far into the future for her. A profound sense of love for her in a world that preys on differences. And I’d be lying if I didn’t think that I was selfish to bring her into this world enduring so much. I could never have imagined what all we were going to go through. My life wouldn’t be better without Marley, but is better because of her. That’s my selfishness. My peanut. My longing for another baby. She’s here. A traditional beginning wasn’t going to be fitting for her- she needed the world’s (albeit our world’s) attention cooing over her.
It’s been a few days since Marley got her wound vac off and she feels dramatically lighter. We are laying here nursing while I write. We’ve had two bandage changes at home. I almost fainted at the first one. The second one was better. Her hand looks different. Her arm is smaller in muscle and tissue and lacks the softness. But the healing is good. I feel a protection deep inside of me far into the future for her. A profound sense of love for her in a world that preys on differences. And I’d be lying if I didn’t think that I was selfish to bring her into this world enduring so much. I could never have imagined what all we were going to go through. My life wouldn’t be better without Marley, but is better because of her. That’s my selfishness. My peanut. My longing for another baby. She’s here. A traditional beginning wasn’t going to be fitting for her- she needed the world’s (albeit our world’s) attention cooing over her.
Comments
Post a Comment