Part 3
We left the pre op hallway and went straight into the waiting room. There were long tinted windows wall to wall on the one side. It was still dusk out and quiet. We sat down and waited. Awhile later a coffee cart came around and handed out cups of coffee and tea and cookies. We waited some more. I knew I couldn't just sit there so we walked. There's a lovely gift shop in the entry of the hospital on the second floor. I did what I do best, I shopped. I bought a hospital tee shirt and Marley the sweetest little JellyCat Kitty, gray and white striped. He was snuggly and I knew she would like it.
The surgery was shorter than I expected, so when they said she was done I was relieved, surprised and not near as tired as I had felt earlier. We headed straight in to recovery and she was still really groggy. They wanted her to sleep. Relax and recover. She had the smallest ace bandage that I have ever seen on her right arm and it was slightly bent down- not pushed up and backwards like before. She stayed there until we saw the anesthesiologist and she said all went great.
We headed to our room on the main floor for care after that and if I had to admit, I was kind of disappointed. We were sharing a room. I'm not sure why I never even considered this as a possibility, but it was and I was told there would be someone else in before the end of the night. The room was really dated, peeling paint and sad. If we hadn't just had a blissful feeling of hope I might have felt equally as sad. We settled in and relaxed.
It took a long time for Marley to wake up, but when she did, she woke with a bang. She started thrashing about and whipping that arm cast at anything and anyone. She had a hollow look in her eyes. I tried to pick her up and she was beside herself. She didn't want her shusher machine, or anything. She got more meds and fell back asleep. That same cycle happened all through the night. I couldn't pick her up and snuggle her- it's like she didn't even know me... We were afraid she would get her arm caught in the rungs of the bed so we fluffed it with pillows until they brought in a crib protector that was nice and padded. I could finally sit down. The parent beds were too small for both of us so Hubs went back to the Ronald McDonald House and slept. At some point a little fella came from surgery and was now our roommate. Between his aching and Marley's inconsolable pain, no one got any sleep.
The next morning was quiet and Hubs brought me coffee. The attendings did rounds and all sounded good. Shortly after, the faintest of voices whispered Momma? and she was finally awake and clear headed. I scooped her up and nestled her into my chest. The rocker style chair was a blessing and I held her for hours after that. Eventually she fell back asleep and I needed to shower so I left them and went to get freshened up. I slapped on the new tee shirt, grabbed a quick bite and headed back.
She was awake and eating when I came back in. She looked so small and sweet. Later that night I remember someone coming in to talk to us and they were a bit confused. I gave a side eye glance and he says do you work here? I say no and he motions to my shirt. I realize wearing said shirt may not have been my wisest choice, but it was so soft. And a beautiful blue. I can't even remember why he came in and I think he may have forgot too. We stayed in the hospital for a few more days and then it was time to go.
Knowing that Nationwide Children's Hospital was no longer going to work with us, we needed to know how to fill the tissue expander that was in her back. There was a port just under the skin and we would be inserting a needle with a long tube attached to it and syringe to that filled with saline. I was so scared of this process, but I also knew that we had made our choice and we had to do it. I held her into my chest and the resident inserted and pressed down. Marley screamed and wiggled, but I continued to hold her. Hubs recorded it on my phone and the camera so we would know exactly how to do it. 10cc's in and she was at 30cc's total now with the amount she came in from surgery. Oh how her skin stretched out. She was ready to go home and so were we.
We had two days left before we flew back. We stayed in the Ronald McDonald House and recovered. We headed to Newport beach the next day. It was cool and overcast. We walked the shops and ate and drank. We laughed. We put our feet in the sand and felt the freezing ocean on our skin. She chased the birds. It was a wonderful day and looking back still seemed dreamy like. We stayed and had dinner late at a restaurant on the ocean and ate some of the best fish I ever had. I had wine and he a drink we stayed late and finally headed back with a very sleepy girl.
When we got back, there were several goodies laid on the bed. Mother's day was right around the corner and there was going to be a carnival celebration the day we were leaving. There was a small bouquet of flowers, a box wrapped oh so delicately. A small linen sack filled with lotion and soap. The box was earrings from a famous designer. Each thing had a hand written note expressing their sympathy for the children dealing with whatever circumstance that required you to be staying away from home. The last linen bag had a saying and a date with the name of her son, and that she knew what it meant to be a mom. I felt so tiny, in that moment. Humbled. And grateful that we were there for an elective surgery albeit one to help our daughter's future, what ever that may be. I felt so thought about from others. So small in this big world of people and that each of our small lives touch so many in our lifetime. I felt about the connections I have made and how much they all mean to me. I also felt the sadness for this was the first time my Husband had a mother's day after the loss of his own mother.
The next day we were ready to go. I still anticipated the flight back to be so stressful. Staying anywhere for five hours is tough let alone with any complications stuck on an airplane. Take off was delayed due to a wiggly partition from business class to first class. We were on the plane for more than an hour and she already had her bottle so take off was going to be a lot without it to soothe the ear popping. When we finally departed she had had Tylenol but was not sleepy one bit. She played the ipad for awhile. But hours in and she was ready to get out. The flight was hot and she wanted out of her clothes. I stripped her down to her diaper and she played some more. I grew exhausted. I figured she was achy, but there wasn't much to do now but wait it out. The guy on the aisle was so kind and thankfully kept his headphones in so I didn't think we disturbed him much. The only real hiccup besides her crankiness was the one time we put down the tray table and Marley climbed on top like a billy goat triumphant. The flight attendant came by and to her horror scolded Hubs and told him people eat on there. He was not amused and didn't back down. He says "really, people eat on these things? they are absolutely disgusting!", but he tucked it back closed and Marley laid on the floor. Guess that wasn't near as disgusting?!? We made it safe and sound and quicker with the jet stream in our favor. We made it to the truck completely unawares of the pungent smell that had plenty of time to settle in to every crevice of the truck. One whiff and we knew we were finally home.
Now the real work begins.
We left the pre op hallway and went straight into the waiting room. There were long tinted windows wall to wall on the one side. It was still dusk out and quiet. We sat down and waited. Awhile later a coffee cart came around and handed out cups of coffee and tea and cookies. We waited some more. I knew I couldn't just sit there so we walked. There's a lovely gift shop in the entry of the hospital on the second floor. I did what I do best, I shopped. I bought a hospital tee shirt and Marley the sweetest little JellyCat Kitty, gray and white striped. He was snuggly and I knew she would like it.
The surgery was shorter than I expected, so when they said she was done I was relieved, surprised and not near as tired as I had felt earlier. We headed straight in to recovery and she was still really groggy. They wanted her to sleep. Relax and recover. She had the smallest ace bandage that I have ever seen on her right arm and it was slightly bent down- not pushed up and backwards like before. She stayed there until we saw the anesthesiologist and she said all went great.
We headed to our room on the main floor for care after that and if I had to admit, I was kind of disappointed. We were sharing a room. I'm not sure why I never even considered this as a possibility, but it was and I was told there would be someone else in before the end of the night. The room was really dated, peeling paint and sad. If we hadn't just had a blissful feeling of hope I might have felt equally as sad. We settled in and relaxed.
It took a long time for Marley to wake up, but when she did, she woke with a bang. She started thrashing about and whipping that arm cast at anything and anyone. She had a hollow look in her eyes. I tried to pick her up and she was beside herself. She didn't want her shusher machine, or anything. She got more meds and fell back asleep. That same cycle happened all through the night. I couldn't pick her up and snuggle her- it's like she didn't even know me... We were afraid she would get her arm caught in the rungs of the bed so we fluffed it with pillows until they brought in a crib protector that was nice and padded. I could finally sit down. The parent beds were too small for both of us so Hubs went back to the Ronald McDonald House and slept. At some point a little fella came from surgery and was now our roommate. Between his aching and Marley's inconsolable pain, no one got any sleep.
The next morning was quiet and Hubs brought me coffee. The attendings did rounds and all sounded good. Shortly after, the faintest of voices whispered Momma? and she was finally awake and clear headed. I scooped her up and nestled her into my chest. The rocker style chair was a blessing and I held her for hours after that. Eventually she fell back asleep and I needed to shower so I left them and went to get freshened up. I slapped on the new tee shirt, grabbed a quick bite and headed back.
She was awake and eating when I came back in. She looked so small and sweet. Later that night I remember someone coming in to talk to us and they were a bit confused. I gave a side eye glance and he says do you work here? I say no and he motions to my shirt. I realize wearing said shirt may not have been my wisest choice, but it was so soft. And a beautiful blue. I can't even remember why he came in and I think he may have forgot too. We stayed in the hospital for a few more days and then it was time to go.
Knowing that Nationwide Children's Hospital was no longer going to work with us, we needed to know how to fill the tissue expander that was in her back. There was a port just under the skin and we would be inserting a needle with a long tube attached to it and syringe to that filled with saline. I was so scared of this process, but I also knew that we had made our choice and we had to do it. I held her into my chest and the resident inserted and pressed down. Marley screamed and wiggled, but I continued to hold her. Hubs recorded it on my phone and the camera so we would know exactly how to do it. 10cc's in and she was at 30cc's total now with the amount she came in from surgery. Oh how her skin stretched out. She was ready to go home and so were we.
We had two days left before we flew back. We stayed in the Ronald McDonald House and recovered. We headed to Newport beach the next day. It was cool and overcast. We walked the shops and ate and drank. We laughed. We put our feet in the sand and felt the freezing ocean on our skin. She chased the birds. It was a wonderful day and looking back still seemed dreamy like. We stayed and had dinner late at a restaurant on the ocean and ate some of the best fish I ever had. I had wine and he a drink we stayed late and finally headed back with a very sleepy girl.
When we got back, there were several goodies laid on the bed. Mother's day was right around the corner and there was going to be a carnival celebration the day we were leaving. There was a small bouquet of flowers, a box wrapped oh so delicately. A small linen sack filled with lotion and soap. The box was earrings from a famous designer. Each thing had a hand written note expressing their sympathy for the children dealing with whatever circumstance that required you to be staying away from home. The last linen bag had a saying and a date with the name of her son, and that she knew what it meant to be a mom. I felt so tiny, in that moment. Humbled. And grateful that we were there for an elective surgery albeit one to help our daughter's future, what ever that may be. I felt so thought about from others. So small in this big world of people and that each of our small lives touch so many in our lifetime. I felt about the connections I have made and how much they all mean to me. I also felt the sadness for this was the first time my Husband had a mother's day after the loss of his own mother.
The next day we were ready to go. I still anticipated the flight back to be so stressful. Staying anywhere for five hours is tough let alone with any complications stuck on an airplane. Take off was delayed due to a wiggly partition from business class to first class. We were on the plane for more than an hour and she already had her bottle so take off was going to be a lot without it to soothe the ear popping. When we finally departed she had had Tylenol but was not sleepy one bit. She played the ipad for awhile. But hours in and she was ready to get out. The flight was hot and she wanted out of her clothes. I stripped her down to her diaper and she played some more. I grew exhausted. I figured she was achy, but there wasn't much to do now but wait it out. The guy on the aisle was so kind and thankfully kept his headphones in so I didn't think we disturbed him much. The only real hiccup besides her crankiness was the one time we put down the tray table and Marley climbed on top like a billy goat triumphant. The flight attendant came by and to her horror scolded Hubs and told him people eat on there. He was not amused and didn't back down. He says "really, people eat on these things? they are absolutely disgusting!", but he tucked it back closed and Marley laid on the floor. Guess that wasn't near as disgusting?!? We made it safe and sound and quicker with the jet stream in our favor. We made it to the truck completely unawares of the pungent smell that had plenty of time to settle in to every crevice of the truck. One whiff and we knew we were finally home.
Now the real work begins.
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