Time had past by since the final fill of Marley's tissue expander. She was at a glorious 510cc. That skin had stretched and softened and was really large. It impeded Marley's right arm from sitting normal and close to her body much in the way that she looked semi pushed forward. I had wondered if it would make her more buoyant when she swam, but I didn't have much experience with her swimming without it as she was so young. She loves water. Loves it! I wonder if it made her feel weightless. She couldn’t quite comprehend that yet so I'll never know. What I do know is that she was about to be a whole lot smaller....
We got a date from the office in California that Marley would be having the tissue (free flap surgery) transplanted on December 5th. It was a few weeks away and I anticipated being there for a few weeks to recover. We did not book our return flight. I got busy making arrangements for the bigger kids to have plenty of help with getting to and from practice and our amazing support system including my parents really jumped in to help.
The flight out was dramatically different than the second trip. We took the same early flight as last time, but this time we had first class seats! We sat in the very front of the plane and I have to admit that it's going to be hard to ever travel any way else! Marley did so much better, but I have learned that she is so sensitive in her gut and she gets motion sickness. Twenty minutes left to the flight and she needed a bag to spit but no vomit, but this time no fever and no signs of being sick otherwise. We land and it's raining and cold like California hasn't seen in awhile. Figures.
We are back at the Ronald McDonald House of Orange County again. The tub is still blue and the staff as nice as ever. We stay close that night and order pizza. It's a night filled with joy laced with apprehension. We are ready, but man is that feeling kinda helpless. I take tons of pictures of her back, her arm, her scars. She plays and plays.... With the time change we call it a night and wake up bright and early.
The walk to Childrens Hospital of Orange County is peaceful, but slightly cold. I wrap her in her blanket and put her lovie taggy blankets between us. She nestles and is happy. We get almost there and I stop to take a selfie with her. Then another. She smiles. We make it to check in and it's go time.
The staff are always wonderful. It's disarming how attractive everyone is and I think it must be California. Marley plays and then it's time for Verset to make her sleepy and I am not sure why I had the syringe to give it to her orally, but I stick it in and push and Marley promptly spits it out. I look at the nurse holding her down and almost in disbelief I think, how the heck did I just screw that up. She proceeds to tell me the best way to give drugs to a toddler and without anger all I can think is Did that just happen? I have legitimately given Marley a thousand doses of drugs over her short life. This time I completely failed. Big time. She goes on to say that she thinks she got enough and that it's fine. They will address it again if we think it didn't work. Ugh.
I am gathering Marley's stuff back into my bags and putting the rest of the toys they brought in for her to play with under the bed. She's super loopy and super cute. I go to grab her lovie blankets in the stroller and they are not there. I look at Russ and he comes over to look and they are NOT there. She has three big ones and two little ones. I know I left a big one in the House. I also, because I am me, brought a little one in my purse. I am trying to think. Focus. And with probably a mix of fear and Maguiring I am deep in though staring right at the eyes of my Husband when in pops the most cheerful voice beaming with pure elation.
Dr L, with a full head of gorgeous curls bounds into the room and gives me the warmest hug. I am filled with joy and fear and mostly a deer in headlights expression. She still gives me butterflies in a meeting your idol kind of way. I say something dorky undermining the feelings that I am really feeling. Gratefulness isn't a feeling, but man it should be. That doesn't accurately express my emotions, but it was. We talk for a minute then she marks Marley's arm and gives her a "you're gonna do great" pat. She tells us to wait for Dr V and the Dr S "gangsta" anesthesiologist.
When they all leave Hubs looks at me and says what do we do now. A nurse walks in and sensing the discomfort asks what's wrong and we say we've lost her blankets. She knows this is bad and goes into the waiting room, but they are not there. I pull out little blanket and say it will have to be enough. I snuggle her with it and the whole time she's been zoning out on the Verset and happy. I kiss her and Hubs kisses her and she looks up and says "not today". We laugh. We get it on video. We laugh, we snuggle, we meet Dr V and Dr S "gangsta" and then we watch them wheel her away. Same as the last time they yell back to us, "we'll take good care of her".
I don't cry, but I did pray. We turn on our heels and immediately the search for blankets begins.
We got a date from the office in California that Marley would be having the tissue (free flap surgery) transplanted on December 5th. It was a few weeks away and I anticipated being there for a few weeks to recover. We did not book our return flight. I got busy making arrangements for the bigger kids to have plenty of help with getting to and from practice and our amazing support system including my parents really jumped in to help.
The flight out was dramatically different than the second trip. We took the same early flight as last time, but this time we had first class seats! We sat in the very front of the plane and I have to admit that it's going to be hard to ever travel any way else! Marley did so much better, but I have learned that she is so sensitive in her gut and she gets motion sickness. Twenty minutes left to the flight and she needed a bag to spit but no vomit, but this time no fever and no signs of being sick otherwise. We land and it's raining and cold like California hasn't seen in awhile. Figures.
We are back at the Ronald McDonald House of Orange County again. The tub is still blue and the staff as nice as ever. We stay close that night and order pizza. It's a night filled with joy laced with apprehension. We are ready, but man is that feeling kinda helpless. I take tons of pictures of her back, her arm, her scars. She plays and plays.... With the time change we call it a night and wake up bright and early.
The walk to Childrens Hospital of Orange County is peaceful, but slightly cold. I wrap her in her blanket and put her lovie taggy blankets between us. She nestles and is happy. We get almost there and I stop to take a selfie with her. Then another. She smiles. We make it to check in and it's go time.
The staff are always wonderful. It's disarming how attractive everyone is and I think it must be California. Marley plays and then it's time for Verset to make her sleepy and I am not sure why I had the syringe to give it to her orally, but I stick it in and push and Marley promptly spits it out. I look at the nurse holding her down and almost in disbelief I think, how the heck did I just screw that up. She proceeds to tell me the best way to give drugs to a toddler and without anger all I can think is Did that just happen? I have legitimately given Marley a thousand doses of drugs over her short life. This time I completely failed. Big time. She goes on to say that she thinks she got enough and that it's fine. They will address it again if we think it didn't work. Ugh.
I am gathering Marley's stuff back into my bags and putting the rest of the toys they brought in for her to play with under the bed. She's super loopy and super cute. I go to grab her lovie blankets in the stroller and they are not there. I look at Russ and he comes over to look and they are NOT there. She has three big ones and two little ones. I know I left a big one in the House. I also, because I am me, brought a little one in my purse. I am trying to think. Focus. And with probably a mix of fear and Maguiring I am deep in though staring right at the eyes of my Husband when in pops the most cheerful voice beaming with pure elation.
Dr L, with a full head of gorgeous curls bounds into the room and gives me the warmest hug. I am filled with joy and fear and mostly a deer in headlights expression. She still gives me butterflies in a meeting your idol kind of way. I say something dorky undermining the feelings that I am really feeling. Gratefulness isn't a feeling, but man it should be. That doesn't accurately express my emotions, but it was. We talk for a minute then she marks Marley's arm and gives her a "you're gonna do great" pat. She tells us to wait for Dr V and the Dr S "gangsta" anesthesiologist.
When they all leave Hubs looks at me and says what do we do now. A nurse walks in and sensing the discomfort asks what's wrong and we say we've lost her blankets. She knows this is bad and goes into the waiting room, but they are not there. I pull out little blanket and say it will have to be enough. I snuggle her with it and the whole time she's been zoning out on the Verset and happy. I kiss her and Hubs kisses her and she looks up and says "not today". We laugh. We get it on video. We laugh, we snuggle, we meet Dr V and Dr S "gangsta" and then we watch them wheel her away. Same as the last time they yell back to us, "we'll take good care of her".
I don't cry, but I did pray. We turn on our heels and immediately the search for blankets begins.
Thanks for all the pics. She is so beautiful ❤️
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