Healing

We have had so much time to heal and get healthy. It always seems like a lifetime since the last procedure. Marley eventually started going to physical therapy and we do stretches on her little fingers and wrist. We are in quarantine times now, and so we do them at home and she wears a sweet little black brace with pink and purple straps. Most days, Marley just plays. She is exactly who she is- growing from a toddler into a child. She has long sandy blond hair and an infectious laughter that fills the air. She still screams a piercing loud scream when she wants, but there's more laughter these days.

I've been able to watch her grow more confident in her capabilities. She walks on her tippy toes, and twirls around. She talks of Dr. L every single day. She says I am going to be a Doctor like Dr. L. She plays with her doctor tools and we read books on doctors every day. She believes it wholeheartedly. She knows she can. She crawls on her hands and knees and I watch her right fingers rubberly bend backward- I remind her to push them down, not back. She does everything she wants sometimes in her own way. I rejoice in her confidence and each time she goes out on her own to complete even the most simplest of tasks like pulling up her pants and slipping on shoes. She's unique, as we all are, and only sometimes do I wonder what could have been and what will to be. I can not imagine her without her hand and I think whatever it is now it will be when she grows up.

I have spent so much time reading others stories of how embarrassed they were as they went through the middle school years and high school. How unsure they felt with no arm or no leg. How different. I am determined to put her out there now as much as I can so she never shies away from who she is. She is perfectly made. It seems so weird to say that sometimes- I never spent any time contemplating the "perfectly made" verse before her, but I live it now. I see my own self- my own insecurities that pop up like little nats that flit around when you just want to relax, and I have to stop and breathe and say I am perfectly made too. In this vain world overcoming the insecurities and inferiorities seem insurmountable, and yet when you truly believe it, it so easy. Simple. Basic. I am thankful we are coming in to summer. While I will keep her in sun-shirts with sunscreen, I will also dress her in spaghetti strap summer dresses and lots of short sleeves. I am thankful we are home, but I can't wait to go out and show her off. She's my beautiful blessing. All four of them are.

Marley makes us six.